We’re frequently asked etiquette questions about the types of gifts to give at the bridal shower versus the wedding, whether cash is appropriate, etc. Here are some of our most frequently asked questions, which may help you as you get ready for purchasing a gift for the next bridal shower you attend.

How can you let guests know where the bride is registered?
This depends on traditions in the area where you live, and it is best to ask family and friends what the practice is in their experience.

In some social circles, it is perfectly acceptable to note in the invitation where the bride is registered. In fact, many locations offering bridal registries print up special cards for the bride to insert into shower and wedding invitations. If you are the bride, remember to select a range of gifts in several price points so guests have a broad selection to choose from.

In other social circles, it is more appropriate for this information to be relayed via an inquiry to the hostess, and is often then passed around by word of mouth.

Can money be requested as a bridal shower gift?
It is generally unacceptable to note in the bridal shower invitation that cash is the preferred gift. This is even though in a recent survey, 78% of consumers said that they would prefer to give cash as a wedding and shower gift. This is especially true as the average age of couples marrying for the first time continues to rise, and many newlyweds already have most appliances and houseware items.

In some areas, a money tree or wishing well is quite common, and if that is the case in your area, a note at the bottom of the invitation about a money tree or wishing well being an available alternative at the shower would be appropriate. Check out the creative wedding wishing well poems and ideas in our related posts noted below.

If cash is really preferred, spread the word using friends and family. Let them know that when guests ask, they can tell them that the bride would prefer cash as a gift. There’s no harm in having them mention this to guests who inquire as to what the bride would most like for gifts at her shower.

If the bride or wedding couple has something they are planning on using the cash gifts for, it is helpful to know so that this can be communicated at the same time as the inquiry, like “Janie and Rob are hoping for some cash gifts, which they plan to use towards the down payment on a new house”. The bride can also mention this in her thank you notes.

As a guest, if you wish to provide cash or a check to the couple within your card, that is an acceptable gift choice. Gift cards are also an excellent alternative, which will also allow the bride go select a gift according to what would best suit their needs.

Another creative way to handle requests for cash gifts is to inform guests using the couple’s wedding website. For example, at ewedding.com, couples can create a free wedding website that features information about the wedding. Most of them include gift registry area, where the couple notes the stores they have registered at. They could also add a note, such as:

If you were thinking of giving a gift, to help us on our way.
A gift of cash towards our house, would really make our day.
However, if you prefer to purchase a gift, feel free to surprise us in your own way.

Whatever you would like to give us is wonderful
The choice is up to you
We are registered at xxxx,
But money is at the top of our list too!
It will help us pay for xxxx

Should the hostess give a gift to the bride at the bridal shower?
The bridal shower is considered to be a gift to the bride-to-be from the hostess, and it is up to you if you choose to give an additional gift to the bride. If you do choose to buy another gift, a token gift is definitely acceptable, given the costs and effort expended towards hosting the shower event.

Related Posts:
Wishing Well Basket And Poem
Top 15 Favorite Bridal Shower Poems

It’s nice to then have the bridesmaids toast the bride-to-be as she takes one step further towards her new life. Have a bottle of champagne ready for the maid of honor to pop, or pour for the bride and wedding party. Have flutes of champagne passed so guests are ready to partake in the toast.

There are poems that are attached to each bottle, that the bridesmaids read as they present the gift to the bride.

Wedding Night

The night you have dreamed of is finally here
The future surrounds you with hope and yet fear
You’ve wanted so long to find your perfect mate
Sip this wine and toast this perfect date
The night is meant for you to share
Enjoy each other – a perfect pair!!

First Fight

When fights occur and tempers get hot
Pour a glass and be thankful for what you’ve got
If you always agreed it would certainly be a bore
And by asking for Krissy’s hand Bernie is surely
in for more!

First Anniversary

Been married a year, where did the time go?
No longer newlyweds, now you are pros
Hope the days found you in good health and
good spirit
Keep saying I love you –
one always needs to hear it!
Now toast this first date, it’s certainly not the last
And as you build your future don’t ever forget
the past!

First Dinner Party

Open your home to entertain and eat
Catch up with old friends and new ones to meet
When the night is over share this bottle of wine
But don’t sit down yet – it’s clean up time!!

Christmas Eve

A wise man said wine is better than beer
And now is the season for lots of holiday cheer
So pop the cork and relax a bit,
And when the night is through,
Kiss goodnight, close your eyes
And Santa will be good to you!

First Baby

The news that a baby will soon share your life
will make you a mother, not only a wife
You’ll see it through good times and sometimes
through bad
______ the loving mother
and _____ the dearest dad
Sadly _____ (groom) must drink this one alone, and _____(bride) with an empty glass
Sit back and relax – nine months will quickly pass!

Everyone loves to be spoiled! Keep this in mind when selecting little gifts to use as prizes for the bridal shower games or as door prizes.

Here are some of our favorite ideas:

Gourmet coffee beans or tea
Scented or shaped soaps
Bath salts
Lotions known for their restorative properties, like Khiels or Aveda
Luxuriously thick hand towels
Bottle of nice wine or champagne
Beautiful coffee mug (Starbucks often has new mugs and thermos in seasonal colors)
Gourmet chocolate
Designer nail polish
Gift certificate at a nail salon
Scented jar candles
Interesting deck of cards
Beautiful stationary or notepads
Address books

If you’re assembling this on your own, purchase an apron with at least three deep front pockets. You can have the apron embroidered or label it with a fabric marker with the words, “New Husband Housecleaning Helper”.

Gather a selection of housecleaning tools and supplies and stock the apron! Here are a few ideas to get you started:

Rubber Gloves
Kitchen Scrubber
Home Fragrance Spray
Toilet Brush
Silver Polish
Goo Gone
Candle Lighter
Clorox Cleaning Wipes
Dusting Cloths
Microfiber Cloth
Pet Hair Tape
Vacuum Fragrance Beads

Ask guests to bring supplies to stock the bride’s pantry with, in addition to the gifts they are bringing to the party. You can include a shopping list in the invitation, circling one item on each guest’s list to make sure the bride doesn’t get too many of one thing.

A sample of our “shopping list”:
Flour
Sugar
Coffee
Tea
Baking Soda
Baking Powder
Pancake Mix
Maple Syrup
Pasta
Spaghetti Sauce
Olives
Pickles
Ketchup
Mustard
Mayonnaise
Salad Dressing
Salt
Pepper
Spices
Soup
Canned Vegetables
Canned Fruit
Cereal
Snacks
Soda
Rice
Condiments
Coupons

If you’re hosting the event, bring along brown paper bags to help collect the groceries and supplies.

Personalize the larger items from the registery list with items that can be used with it or assemble a package with a number of smaller items around a central need that you know the bride will love!

Here’s some ideas to get you started:

Cookbooks

Spices
Extracts
Flavored Oils
Salt and Pepper Shakers
Potted Herbs

Wooden Spoons
Mezaluna
Madeline
Nut Cracker and Picks
Corn Holders
Butter Dish
Grater
Nut Grinder
Meat Thermometers (single use or metal)
Candy Thermometer
Grilling Planks
Skewers

Egg or Cooking Timer
Coffee Grinder
Electric Carving Knife
Silpat Baking and Oven Liners

Include a note with the invitations describing that there will be a wishing well gift basket at the bridal shower and to bring an inexpensive gift to contribute to the basket. The gifts and basket can match the theme of the bridal shower, just be sure to let all of the guests know if they should be contributing all kitchen gadgets, housecleaning supplies or lingerie!

Here’s a little note to include with the invitations to let guests know there will be a wishing well:

Spices, gadgets and supplies galore,
There’s never enough - we always need more!
Please bring one special item for our favorite bride-to-be
Wrap it in tissue, remember no names please, we won’t tell
It’s just a sweet little surprise for her Wishing Well!

Click here to see more great bridal shower poems to use in your shower invitations, on favors and during the event.